


Something Like Human

by scavengerscorner (idrilhadhafang)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Love/Hate, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:34:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/scavengerscorner
Summary: Rey can’t quite admit the truth.





	Something Like Human

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Soulbonding/Soulmates
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Days pass after Crait when they see each other again. When he contacts her, when the Force connects them (it has to be the only explanation considering that Snoke is dead), he’s wearing his new mask. It’s more beast-like than the old one, which called to mind a bird. Bird or beast. Or man. He seems to veer between the two.   
  
“It’s no use wearing that mask when I know who you are,” Rey says. “I’ve seen you without it. You might have changed your appearance but I know who you are.”  
  
Kylo pauses. He seems to be considering her point before, slowly, removing his mask. He doesn’t look as proud and defiant as he did when he first removed the mask. There’s a strange sense of vulnerability to him.   
  
“It doesn’t matter,” Kylo says. “You don’t know who I am. I’m...different now.”  
  
“In a way.” And yet, Rey knows that he’s different. The reports on the Holonet say volumes, after all. She sees him in his new mask, which is almost bestial in nature, and she knows that it’s only a formality.   
  
He looks different even without the mask. His eyes — they aren’t brown anymore. They’re as gold as Tatooine’s twin suns. She doesn’t know why he hides himself behind the mask. After all, he could very well broadcast to the galaxy that he’s no longer Ben Solo, just by his eyes. They’re dull gold, and they do not shine.   
  
Kylo is the one who speaks. “You think the face matters, instead of the symbol?” He pauses. “The First Order needs a symbol. It doesn’t need a man.”  
  
“That’s not all, is it?” Rey knows he doesn’t want the galaxy to see him. “You’re afraid.”  
  
“I fear no one and nothing.”  
  
“That’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one.” He fears much. He fears not being good enough. He fears inadequacy. He fears the galaxy’s reaction if they saw the symbol and not the man.   
  
It’s like he’s naked without the mask.   
  
Kylo sighs. “Why is the Force connecting us? So you can humiliate me?”  
  
“I never wanted to humiliate you.” Even on Starkiller...she had been angry, wanted to make him hurt for what he did to Finn and Han. That was before she found out who he really was. Before she —  
  
Rey cuts off that thought at the pass. Does she love him? Maybe there’s a fine line between love and hate, as they say, and she doesn’t know where she falls.   
  
Kylo looks at her, skeptically. It hurts. She doesn’t know why.   
  
“If I wanted to humiliate you, I’d be finding other ways to do it than this.”  
  
Not that Rey would humiliate anyone. She’s not a sadist.   
  
“Why did you leave me?” Kylo sounds vulnerable in that moment. Genuinely vulnerable.   
  
“Why didn’t you come back?” Rey’s voice cracks, and she has to look back towards the other rooms to make sure that, say, Poe or Finn doesn’t hear. “You could have come back...”  
  
Kylo goes quiet for a moment. Rey continues. “I tried to save you...”  
  
“You could have come with me. You could have been happy.”  
  
Rey can’t say. She doesn’t know what it would have been like. She would have had Kylo, but she would have lost herself. Everything about who she was, gone. That’s how the Dark Side works. That’s what happens.   
  
“You could have, Rey.”  
  
“You can still be happy. You’re not the monster in the mask, you’re...a man, Ben.” She swears he winces, but she continues. He has to hear it. “There’s a man in you still. Something good. Something that still believes in everything good in the galaxy.”  
  
Kylo exhales. He just looks so tired. “You don’t know me,” he says. “Or what I’ve done.”  
  
“I do. And I still...”  
  
Rey breaks off. She can’t bring herself to say it. Yet.   
  
“I still believe in you.”  
  
Kylo smiles, if sadly. “I know.”  
  
He fades, and Rey doesn’t know if she can say the truth yet. That she’s in love with him, despite herself. Despite what he’s done. She’ll keep it close, safe — until his return.


End file.
